Continuing from my last blog my 3 younger boys went to a new school, things weren’t to bad at first but soon things started to deteriorate and Everything else was melting away!
Firstly with David, he found it difficult to settle in, they were every strict and no allowances for his little ways was made. He started to get into trouble and they seemed to be on his back all the time, on top of that he was finding it had to make friends and was being bullied so even break times were miserable. Slowly he got more and more frustrated and unhappy, then not wanting to go to school. He started to give up and not be bothered about any trouble he got in as they never seemed to listen to him either.
His Bother Joe was also having trouble, not so much in lessons at first but with making friends and being accepted. He was being bullied and teased too which at first as well as making him unhappy made him recoil into himself. As time went on he got braver, even protecting his little brother but didn’t really now how to handle it. They fell behind in their work which didn’t help as they then started to get frustrated in lessons because they couldn’t keep up.
It was like a steam roller effect over the whole family because things were getting difficult at home, all this negativity was making them very touchy with me and each other. I was always worried what they were going to be like when I picked them up because the worse the day at school the worse things would be at home.
Jamey who is older was ok at the school, there was some bullying here and there but he knew how to handle it and himself. His ways and his reactions and ability to socialize (as with his two older brothers) stood him in good stead. He did make some enemy’s because sometimes especially if he saw them being pushed around he would quite rightly stand up for them. But this also made him angry that they didn’t seem to be able to integrate and that ment he could get himself into trouble with the other kids/teachers for only trying to help them, so he started to get frustrated with them too.
All the time I’m trying to sort things out, talking to their teachers etc. Explaining to them whats ok and whats not, disciplining them for bad behaviour. Basically doing all the things a parent should do. The school just seemed to think that they were bad boys and that I was a bad parent. I think I was beginning to think that too.
We were just roller coasting along because I didn’t know what else to do! I would avoid people and places that might be to stressful or embarrassing. I knew that they were different from their 3 older brothers but then again in some ways they weren’t and we are all different in personality so maybe it was just them!
I thought maybe there was something else, some other factor affecting the way they were. I had seen some programs on TV and read a few articles about ADHD, Autism and other behavior problems, but the children in these seemed to have more problems, some obvious, some not. So I wasn’t sure if it was one of those and I thought people would laugh at me if I suggested it, maybe saying I just wanted an excuse for my badly behaved kids!
Again it took a change of circumstances, home and area to make me realize that there might be more to it. More importantly someone else who got to know them and who had some knowledge of these things to help me see that a mothers instinct is usually right and a chance to stop Everything from melting !
- What do I do if I suspect that my child is being bullied? (education.com)
- Relieving the Trauma of Bullying (tfttraumarelief.wordpress.com)
- Seven ways schools and parents can mishandle reports of bullying (oup.com)
- ‘Bully’ review: Powerful, tough to watch (abclocal.go.com)
- How Many People Believe A.D.H.D. Is Caused by Poor Parenting? (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com)
- Anger and ADHD (meandadhd.wordpress.com)
- ADHD – Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (moorestorms.wordpress.com)
- Ten Early Warning Signs for ADHD for Children- by Guest Blogger Teresa Blecher (risablairlovitz.com)
- “I just wish someone understood!!” (focusedonadhd.wordpress.com)
- 6 Common Myths About Autism (everydayhealth.com)
- The May Family: It Takes Teamwork on the Spectrum (beyondautismawareness.wordpress.com)
- Mom writes book on parenting autistic children. She shares her personal story (shesourrock.com)